Hey guys. =]

Piano competition was erm. Success?

Haha

Got 1st Runner Up (2nd place if you're wondering)

xD

Well, not too bad aye? =P

At least I'm happy..

The champion was a teacher from GL music school.

But then last year I won her.

this year she won back.

Fair and square. Hahaha!

thank you to the organizing committee for this event.

Enjoyed it much.

As for videos and pictures, will be uploaded few days later (I hope xS)

Using laptop now. That's why.

Fooled around with the webcam.

=]

Well. Dad is BACK!! <3

Love him.

1st of June is his birthday. OMG~

Got to do something special since this is the last year for me to celebrate with him until a few years time later.

Oh yea!

by the way, forgotten to mention,

I MET MY PRIMARY BEST FRIEND JUST NOW IN THE MUSIC FESTIVAL!

that's like sooo cool.

lost contact for about 10 years? WTH .__.

I changed school you see, when i was primary 4.

From Likas Chung Hwa to Shan Tao.

And that time was too young to ask for handphone number and

we don't give a damn to E-mails YET xD.

And yeah!

Finally. After 10 years plus. xD

He's currently doing Grade 7 on piano.

Kinda great to found a long lost friend that share the same interest with you.

I did not notice him at first.

nor did he.

As we changed a lot.

It all started with what I call "fate"

So coincidently that I was standing beside the toilet chit chatting with friends and he pass by and ask us where's the toilet.

Then i got stunned and ask him is he from this this that that primary school and bla blah class.

He says yes and replied.

"Are you 陈文豪?"

OMG. He remembered. LOL.

and there goes, one close buddy went to Melaka and another one poof back.

So sometimes you just have to let go so that new things will come in aye?

Life is just too amazing. ;]

One more thing before i stop.

I changed my blog song.

In case you hadn't noticed.

Check it out ;]

ps. Two more days of freedom, two more months of suffer.

Today was not a pleasant day for me AT ALL.


Got shouted at the road side by dad.

All this started from a silly problems.


And the situation gets horrible.


=.=



no mood to talk more.

I Love you dad.

ps. I'm so lost. Again.

=]



Well.



Nightmares had passed.



Tuning myself back into holiday mood.



Gonna have around 5 days of holidays.



Woots~





Wesak and Hari keamatan.

xD



But i'm having piano competition this Sunday. =X



Kinda nervous.

Kuakaka.



Wish Me Luck People! xP







Kai ye Emailed me some important, meaningful, memorable documents.



Are about my kai ma.



Well, Many people asked me.



What happened to her?

What disease?

What sickness?

Heart Attack?



my answer was always "too many to say it all out".



So here's what she been through for about 20 years. =X





Her last words.

It is March 2010. I am sitting here, thinking, reflecting & recollecting… feeling like a ‘zombie’, ‘cripper’! I just had surgeries done to my R wrists. First was removal, cleaning of synovial fluids. It didn’t heal and fluid continued to ooze out. Repeated surgery and still see NO improvement. Soon after the L 2wrist tendon, without any reason (What else other than Lupus, the killer that had been eating me, slowly & bit bit….) Post op, another 3 tendons broke, repeated surgery, and it became worst. The incision line opened up and was badly infected.



Just last week, I had a skin graft surgery done to my L ankle. I have been taking I/V antibiotic infusion PICC line for the longest time, sad to say, till to date I am still taking them!! (Had Osteomyelitis and then repeated with another blister sore!) So, my wound which is both grafts and donor site is draining lots of ‘serousangeous drainage’.

Another issue was 2 weeks ago, I started retaining fluids, my legs and abdomen were bloated and I was all swelled up like a pumpkin! My vision is blurred (eye drops never help.) Lupus is affecting either my heart or kidneys. I haven’t been able to write since last year (and type with 1 or 2 fingers only!) All my fingers are basically stiffened, numbed and painful. Both hands are not functioning with poor coordination, pain when I tried to use them.

I had enough ordeals in fact much more than anyone can bear….20 long years!! Have had many good, beautiful, lovely, and adventurous and fulfilled years until 2006. After the major surgery to my liver, due to enlarged spleen, life was a torment with repeated episodes of emergencies with all kind of ailment, rushing in and out of the hospital for repeated ailments especially pneumonias and etc. All those never seemed to end. The longing for healthy and normal life poured out of my weak, fragile body, until I have no more, don’t know and have no energy to cry now...Vividly, remembered those long hours of waiting in line for scheduling, wearing thin robes in a huge, dried and long icy cold corridor to have tests and procedures done...blood works and antibiotic infusion! All these, I guess qualified me for the Guinness Book of Records…. Also, the nightmares of hospitalization, I have been brought from death to life a few times! Hospital is a ghost house, nightmare, torture and horrible sight to me….

I cannot have solid foods since September 2009. (loosening of my oesophagus muscle). No procedure can be performed. No or restricted protein due to hepatic encephalopathy. No sugar due to Diabetes…. What kind of life is this??!! Pulmonary hypertension. (I am wheezing more now & have to use oxygen.) I have lost my sense of taste, everything that I eat taste like water!! Food tastes the same one from one to another; feels rough and tough on my tongue and taste buds! It is such a weird and strange feeling…. I hate the thought of food now….wish I don’t have to eat! Also, there is always a layer of white oral thrush inside my mouth that makes the situation worst.

Thank the Good Lord, who had blessed me with Hing, who is my Hero, the wind beneath my wings, the rock that has supported me closely and my Forever! He is the reason for my living; he will do the utmost for me with full anticipation, protects me in all situations and loves me unconditionally everyday that we spent together. He bravely fought with me to defeat the “demon” till the very last attempts, i.e. the hand/wrist surgeries and the skin grafting. He never stopped believing in us, I loved him forever!

So, I am now a cripper, waiting for God’s grace to take me Home to Him. I am nothing, on my own but everything to God! All my organs are being destroyed by lupus, have tried and tried to outlive, conquere it. I lived too long and too hard. It’s time to surrender to God and be ever happy, laughing, dancing and living in Heaven…. Released from the 20 years of demon in control, and tortured. Return to complete health with no pain, sorrow, weakness, tears and disease. Heaven is a wonderful world and home!!All in all, the Lord is my Shephard,

Amen!!...With Love & memories always

Anna, Juat Tan

Kinda tough life aye?



Pity.



APPRECIATE, PEOPLE!!!





This passage below is going to be read by kai ye during the memorial service.



Quite touching and this explains the detail of her situation.

=[

Anna-R.I.P. Memorial Service

We gather here tonight to celebrate the life of a courageous wife and woman. She had gone through so much pains & sufferings. She suffered Not one, two or three chronic and disabling medical conditions, but more than 10. She spent most of her adult life fighting her illness, spent most the holidays, including thanksgivings and X’mas in hospitals, Gone through so many tests and procedure, tolerate all kinds of antibiotic infusions and took lots of medications that she hated.

Anna was a Fighter. She faced her illness with strong desire to get better. She was able to bounce back so many times when she was given little chance. Even, her doctors admired her courage and determination. At least three different doctors that I know thought that she was very special patient. She stayed hopeful despite her pains and suffering.

She did everything she could to get better.

Anna always had a beautiful smile on her face, despite her illness. She loved her God given life; and she cherished her family and friends.

Her friends always say; she is poor in health but rich in love.

But, she was winning the fight. She was able to claim Victories from all these adversaries, except one time…….Just one time, ONLY this one. She surrendered to God. She had given everything she had to fight all her illnesses. She gave it all. I’m very proud of her.

We have a lot of medical professionals here tonight. For most of us, medical diagnosis is a term we use so easily. But for Anna, she lived and experienced them first hand. Only those who had experienced the sickness will fully appreciate what thesen names really mean,

We call it Lupus, but she had to live with the symptoms daily. We know it is an autoimmune disease, but, she experienced the disease.

We often heard about H1N1 virus, but she contacted the virus and Beat it.

We call it Pulmonary hypertension, but, she lived with the symptoms. We know shortness of breath; but, she is the one grasping for air, every breath was an effort for her, every breath is Precious.

We call it Diabetes, but she lived with the symptoms and complications. We know hypo and hyperglycemia. But, She was the one who experienced them daily.

It is easy for us to preach Diet and Exercise, only if you do have to do it.

We talk about Osteomylitis, but, she had numerous infections that were so hard to get fight off.

We take for granted for our ability to swallow food. But, for her, food that she took stayed in her esophagus for hours, a condition called acrasia. We take for granted for our ability to use our hands. But, she had to live with broken tendons, on both hands. They were both disabled. She could not even pick up a pen to write.

Anna could not read due to her disabling eyes. She could not eat; even if she could, too much protein would cause confusion for her, too much carb. would caused hyperglycemia, and too little carb. would cause hypoglycemia.

Towards the end of her life, her body was weak and wasting. She had had not enough strength to take a few steps. She always says that Lupus is so CRUEL. It destroyed her body slowly, but totally!

Despite all the disabilities, pain and sufferings, what hurt her most is the lost of her independence and her freedom. It broke her heart that she had to depend on others to do the simple activities of daily livings.

She did it. She did it. It was amazing how she did it all these years.

Now that she is gone. She has gone to be with her heavenly Father. Her pain and suffering have ended. God has transcended her life and she will live forever without pain and sufferings.

Let's remember Anna as a wonderful person who has always shared a part of herself with us, and celebrate her life; and know that she is with God.

For me, I will have to face the truth.

I will choose to smile because she has lived, instead of shedding tears that she is gone,

I will choose to open my eyes and see all she's left, instead of closing my eyes and pray that she'll come back,

I will choose to be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday, instead of turning my back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

I will choose to cherish her memory and let it live on, instead of remembering her, only that she is gone,

I will choose to do what she'd want:

smile, open my eyes, love and go on, instead of crying and closing my mind, be empty and turn my back.

Anna has returned to her Heavenly father. She is not coming back.

But, I believe I will join her one day, in God’s house, and live together forever, and ever.

"One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. (Psalm 27:4)"

Amazing Huh?



i think now i know where i get my "Thinking to the bright side" thing from. lol.



Kai ye was indeed an amazing person to met =]



It was seriously the greatest gift to kai ma.



Huhu.



T.T



The "burning ceremony" (wth do you call that? i just can't remember .__.) is tomorrow.



and yes, she's not going to be buried. That's what she wanted kai ye to do.







Well, Those are past.



Let's talk about today =D





Had dinner with my besties.

Hoho.





Enjoyed it damn lot.



Chris is leaving this Friday.

Last dinner/outing with him TT



Gonna miss my buddy. huhu.



















Seriously Enjoyed xDD



I suppose that's about it for now.



All the best to Chris, will send you off at airport this Friday xDD



Gotta sleep.



Haven't done homework yet =X

ps. Isit time to let go?

='(

Thank you Kai Ma.

For colourising part of my life.

Love You like I always did

Rest In Peace,

God Bless.

We love you. =']



Well.

God took her back this morning around 7am.

For their place in New York, 7pm Yesterday night.

Kai Ye told me it was a peaceful one.
Thank God =]

Slept and left.


So there goes.
another one who I loved.
<3

Seems that my feeling of 2010 as a bad year was kinda true.
Really do hope that this will be the worst, and no more.
I have enough of nightmares. =[


well, to the bright side,
She left us might be good for herself.
No more Hospital, no more treatment, No more needles, No more Pain.

So Thank God again, for giving her the chance to live LONGER (about 10 years)
and also allow me this kai zai to go visit her in New York for the last time. ='[

T.T

Shit. Tears are rolling in my eyes.

No more calls from her to me all the way from USA.

Gonna miss those calls. Kinda regret why i did not call her more often.
Only doing it like 2-4 times per month. =[

That makes me even sadder.


Haizzz.

Tomorrow. Another life affecting exam .__.

So gonna die.




Some memories from the past =(

last year December.






The one in blue shirt is her. Looks quite strong that time.

But head news from kai ye saying after we went the situation went worse until today =[


It was kinda shocking to face the truth at first.


Thank you all my friends who care for me.

Love you all =')


To all, This is life. There's no such thing as tomorrow. There's no such thing as yesterday.

You can't control things that ARE going to happen tomorrow. And you definitely can't change history.

But you can CONTROL today.

People, Appreciate everyday.

I'm happy that I'm still can blog.
I'm happy that I still have friends.
I'm happy that they're still many people who love me.
and I'm happy that I'll always love them all.


You should be happy for able to read my blog.
Some people can't.

Some people don't even have electric supply.


Appreciate everyone in your life.
Appreciate what they did for you.
What they sacrificed for you.

Tell them you love them.
Before it's too late.


Think about it.

To those who hate their parents, Think about it.
To those who hate their siblings, Think about it.
To those who hate their Friends, Think about it.
To those who have enemies, Think about it.

To those who do not want to think, not gonna force you. but you sure gonna regret.


ps. Appreciate what you have before it's too late.
That's the beauty of life.

Shit happens again =[



Kai ye called me this evening.

Telling me Kai ma is in the hospital and might not make it through this time ='(



Haiz.
this is life.

When good things come to you, they come to you in a flock.

Same situation goes to bad things.

I'm already stress enough and yet, another bad news.


Pretty down now.


Gonna face Specialist maths test this saturday, Physics test next tuesday, Piano competition next sunday.

Wish me luck then.


Nothing much to talk about.

ps. i'm speechless =(

To the one who introduce me into this world and guide me through hard times.

Mum,

Happy Mother's Day.



well.

I know I am one day late. xP

Just too busy and lazy to post yesterday xD



Had a quite fun weekend.

Went back to KKHS to help out Chinese Orchestra performance.

At least that makes my mood better =]

Fuuuu.

Felt like home when went back.


And thank God they cooperate well with me during the last minute and we did a lot of last minute work.

At least that made the outcome less nasty as previous. =S

My ears can bleed before that. No joke.


































Exhausting tiring but fun night =]





Fuuuu.


now have to get back to study mood again.

and it's tough. =S



STUDDY STUDDY STUDY!!

OHHHHHMMMMMMM.


Another thing that cheers me up a lot is my NEW LAPTOP.

Woots~


Finally after 2 weeks of waiting for the order to reach Taman kingfisher. =P




Thanks Dad <3


and also on Friday Night.

Went for a Barbecue farewell party for Christopher at Siaw's house.

Enjoyed that a lot too!

Pictures are to come later though =P


Terence Tan is still that lazy.

ps. Not gonna let go.