Like I'd expected, September was a total shit.

One of my computer broke down.

My Printer broke down.

My watch cacated. (Timer pointer wont point to zero when it shud be zero)

Camera cacated. (there's a black spot in all my pictures, even though i'd clean the lens several times)

Spec cacated (Senget ady)

Phone Cacated (Up, back, left stick button not functioning)

see?

See that?!

Gosh..

Sometimes.

i'm really tired.

tired of everything.

sometimes even tired of actually living.

(don't get me wrong. i will never give up life)

I tried.

Tried to force myself to once again,

go back to my old thinking.

Where I once think and believes that.

and had even tried to spread my thoughts,

that everything have their own bright side.

for example you are facing exams..

stress.

well, they are indeed quite a burden to us students.

but in fact, they make us stronger in life, a better foundation, a better understanding.

with flying results, we get good jobs, we get good pay, we get a great life.

however,

Through those up and downs that I'd been through,

slowly, I forgot about this.

that is because i learned something.

I learnt that no matter how bright and how good that thing is, if it hurts you no matter how,

it is not at all a bright side.

well, it does gives you the bright side..

but maybe, you just have to put 1000000X more effort in it.

If that was the case,

then my dear friends,

it's time to let go.

letting go was never an easy decision.

but sometimes, one may have to take that route.

in order to prevent further harm to self and others.

Life is tough.

Some says that it is tough because God trains you.

I think that it is tough because we make it to be tough.

everything starts with our brain.

When we think life is tough, it will be tougher.

when we think life is superb, it will be far more superb than superb.

My weird mood started since long time ago..

specially on Friday night.

Have no ideas what happened.

but it was just like. Everything is wrong. Everything is the end and nothing is right.

That smile that i put on when I'm with friends.

Sorry to tell you.

that's a fake smile that i put up.

When i'm left alone.

I think shit.

shits that i don't want to think but my brain just non stop thinking.

So i don't want to be left alone.

anyone wana yam cha session, do call me.

I need to relax.

those negatives things.

those bad stuffs.

Everything that will do me no good.

Pop up in my mind,

causing me to be extremely moody.

Even though i tried my very best to smile from the very deep of my heart,

i just couldn't make it =(

Heart bleeding, no tears in my eyes.

I rather have tears.

This made me suffer.

I wish..

................

Ignore this post.

just another post of bull where i have no ideas what i'm typing.

p/s i need you, hell lot.