20 December 2010

Best news of this month is that i actually did not too bad in my SAM exams.
Yipee..

Next year should be heading for Monash U in Sunway to save $$ T.T

Aussie is just way expensive.. Would do sorta like twinning program to save cost.


well.. another accomplishment for this month is that..
I'd survive through my piano exam..
But..... =( not sure i'll pass or not.
Hopefully yes.
haiz..
Didn't prepare well for it..
Regreted.
I do practice everyday. but my heart wasn't with the piano nor the pieces.
it was somewhere else.. thoughts not focused.

Will take this as a great failure and lesson =(
Felt sorry that i'd disappointed my teacher.

Soon..

pretty pretty soon..
2010 will come to an end. then it'll be 2011.
a new year where people meet new peoples.
make new friends.
and for me..
living in a new environment..

what was gone will always be cherished memorially.
what is coming, i'll take it with full confident that i will make it through..
what i have now.. i'll never stop loving, enjoy and appreciate now..

life is a journey. that's what i'd always believed.
Even on the piano. you need to pass some black keys before moving on to the white..
There are only sometimes where there will be smooth roads where the E and F or B and C meets.

ps. My blog suckxx. sorry, dear readers... =(

10 December 2010

Life of a musician - Everything sucks. ='(

ps. ......

07 December 2010

Time flies.
i came back to kk.

and now in few hours time, i'm going back to kl again.

December..
A bloody one for 2010.
Well, Seems like my prediction are kinda true aye?

Shits.. All those shits. ._.


hope my exams will go on smoothly and may i have a safe trip.
and also what i'd planned before my trip will be a success.


._. i wrote this last night. but half way through no current ady.


ps. hope everything is alright.

28 November 2010

....
Am in kl now..

Current holiday Schedule.

30th Nov heading back for KK.

4th Dec Graduation Ceremony

7th Dec heading back to kl

22-30 Dec Japan

2nd Jan KK


Many things to say. but don't know how to express.

Happy 18 and two month birthday to me.



ps. 不等也等了很久. 不管怎样,你开心就好.
Reading back our conversation history. The way you replied made my heart cry. Too bad i am too stupid to notice that.

18 November 2010

很多事情..
总是不明白..
很多疑问..
总是不敢问..
很多话要说..
总是说不出口..

别问我信不信..
因为我也不清楚..

本来..
相信..
后来..
信任慢慢被冲淡了..
唯能办的..
就是好好再培养回那信任..


很久以前..
我就迷了路..
迷失了方向..
不知下一步该怎么做..
不知下一步该怎么走..


但我依然撑着..
不撑也撑了一年多了..
还能真真撑多久..
我也不清楚..
都说了..
火山总有一天会爆发..

好好珍惜吧!
剩余的日子..
真的不多了..
只想好好地..
开心地离开..
想念时,
还能想回往事..
让自己开心..
伤心时..
能因为往事而自我鼓励..


你是否真真珍惜过..
我也不太清楚..
但我能感觉到的那种珍惜..
真的.. 真的..
不多..


..................

能一整天接受一字短讯的人..
我暂时还没看过..
但因该还有很多..

真的很累了..
好好的爱,
真的那么难?
我也不知道了..

你对我有多深..
我也不知道了..

真的.. 真的...
非常灰心..

你或许说得对..
还不是时候..
得等你真真懂得珍惜..
真真懂得分析爱时..
真真了解自己在爱谁时..
才是时候..

你又再次说得对..
我..
不管怎样..
还是会离去..
这个..
我很早都告诉了你..
甚至提醒要好好珍惜..
希望我们都做到了吧..

困了..
累了..




ps. A heart, covered with cello-tapes and plasters..

15 November 2010

Note. this post contain vulgars.





































































I'm fucking lost.

13 November 2010

你....
赢了....

ssup peeps..

Well.. Ending of college life..

starting of Uni life..

Things to do in this few months left in Kk will be packed with events i guess..

Meeting up with friends..

Practicing piano for exams.

Travelling..

Etc etc..



hah.. not really in the mood now..

will post again sometime.. =)

ps. Everything is an unknown in life.

08 November 2010

HAPPY 300 POSTS TO MY BLOG WOOTS~!


1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4 and write the sentence here:

; Electrons in the atoms or monatomic ions of a particular element have energy values that are unique to that element, and those electrons are said to exist at certain energy levels (chemistry book ><>

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What’s there?

; I hit my lamp

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

; Korean drama. Dad was watching. so i just join in for awhile.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

; 11.15pm?

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

; 11.25pm. lol

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

; aircon and fan =D

7. When did you last step outside?

; outside as in outside my bedroom? i just came in.. if outside of the house, not today.. =(

What were you doing?

; Planning to bath and saw melia posted this on facebook.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

; Look at melia's result.

9. What are you wearing?

; sam science class t shirt.

10. Did you dream last night?

; yea. bad dream =(.

11. When did you last laugh?

; just now when i won my siblings in uno.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

; there's a lotus painting right beside me.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

; hmm.. yea.. abigail's picture about ghost. but i see none. =/

14. What do you think of FacebookCraze.com?

; what's that? O.o

15. What is the last film you saw?

; T.T Detective Dee.. it had been awhile.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

; I would fulfill my promise and spend my friends.

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.

; i haven bath.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?

; Everything is fair.

19. Do you like to dance?

; Yes i do. but i can't dance =(

20. What do you think of the president?

; We don't have one. ;] unless you mean student council president. hahaa.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

; Hmm.. whatever she wants her name to be..

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

; same as above.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

; not really. Sabah's the best T.T

24. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?

; Hmm... Thank you

07 November 2010

Whole day didn't study..

Dang~

No wait..
Should be since thursday..

X.x


Having chemistry on wednesday, specialist maths on friday.

Fuuuuuu~

After that will be yipee~!

got my conditional offer letter from University of New South Wales and University of Sydney.

Woots!

=D

now have to work hard for my last exam Ohhhhhhhhm!


But tiada ohhm lah!

apa macam?


Makan Chocolate lohh..


=(


ps. 或许是不够成熟

03 November 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!


=D

Stay healthy, stay pretty. woots~



Well peeps!
I'd beaten 2 wars out of 5. Tomorrow will have another one and then it'll be a one week break.


SOooo gonna work hard.
last week, final boost.


currently under serious stress.

loosing lots of hair.

gaining lots of weight.

thanks a lot to those very helping, very distressing chocolates =D

Damn you chocolates.



Yeap..

wasn't too happy today.
well. just a quick update. ;]


ps. I am sorry that my future is more important.. but once i get my future, you will be in it, together with me, hopefully till forever..

30 October 2010

Hey guys..

Guess what?

i'm 18 and a month years old..

damn it.


well, i don't think much people keep track of their monthly birthday.

but somehow, i think that it's quite important to me, as in it reminds you that time flies, and you must appreciate every moment before you're another year older.


well..
the final exam is just two days aways from now. if you consider the midnight time, it'll be one day.

can't wait for it to finish and start my new life.

part of me pulls back, but part of me, half hoping to let go of everything, start a new life in a different place, with totally different people.

half worried, half excited.


Oh..
something that i had not mention about..

I HAD A NEW PHONE!!!!

well, got it on the 10th day of the 10th month of 2010. Cool aye?

Hahahaa.

it's Satio, Sony Ericsson. Am loving it hell much.

save me the trouble to bring along another bulky camera. =D


but sometimes, i do still miss my s500i, with the cool cracked key pads.


hah!


hmm..

i'm currently a bit mentally unstable, emotionally unstable as well..

physically, i'm not too sure.. but pray hard i'm not going sideways..


well. that's about it.
next post should be quite awhile.
unless i'm really got pissed by my subjects.
which i think i will..


shit.
i'm a bit not me..


ps. in case you are wondering why do i take long bath in the late night,
most of the times, i feel cold during the middle of the night,
feeling empty and lost.
a hot and refreshing bath seriously gives me back that warmth that i had barely felt this few months.
At the same time, half hoping that the water will carries my miseries away, down the drain and far far away from me..

Am I Terence Tan? Idk..

24 October 2010

我从没消失过,你好好想想,是谁先退步.

Something i seriously need, a hug and a pat on my back. =(


Terence Tan, Don't worry, be happy!



Here is a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy......

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy
The land lord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry, be happy
Lood at me I am happy
Don't worry, be happy
Here I give you my phone number
When you worry call me
I make you happy
Don't worry, be happy
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got not girl to make you smile
But don't worry be happy
Cause when you worry
Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don't worry, be happy (now).....

There is this little song I wrote
I hope you learn it note for note
Like good little children
Don't worry, be happy
Listen to what I say
In your life expect some trouble
But when you worry
You make it double
Don't worry, be happy......
Don't worry don't do it, be happy
Put a smile on your face
Don't bring everybody down like this
Don't worry, it will soon past
Whatever it is
Don't worry, be happy

21 October 2010

"Hey hey.. Take a look at that wishing star!!"

Wow! it's flying towards me! Better make a wish now..


WTF? It's raining shits.


Yes..
it is raining shits in my world now ==

Damn it.

Hate it when shit falls from the sky and hit me.


Haiz.

Super duper stress X.x


i "accidentally" enrolled myself for piano trio exam.
I didn't realize it actually. ==
but i joined.

so yea. am now stuck with that. my teacher just passed me 4 pieces for trio last week.
was in total shock.
and the exam is 27th of Oct ==

and i'm actually sitting for my real exam on the 1st of Nov.

yesh!! It's the finals~~
After that it'll be bye bye Sabah, Bye bye malaysia, Hi new life..
=(

i'm those who need friends to survive.
what if i'd no friends over there? what will i become? T.T

Emo king =X


Shiat mann!

So practicing the trio pieces is one part.
the worst part is we have to produce a folio type program notes. wtf. and have to decorate it nicely as it cost us 6 marks for that.

Tuuuuuut. i hate these kind of exams.


especially it's in such a crucial time. X.x

besides that,
i'm also busying with this extra project.

actually it's supposed to be known as the missed-out-project.

yeap. madam emily, our chemistry lecturer didn't knew that we have to do something like what i'm doing now.

until the australia board send a check list for them to send our projects our. then she realize we missed out one.

and we ended up rushing it overnight.
T.T

Horrible mann. but can't blame her as well. as it's her first year teaching this course.


and argh! if you know how to do something, try your best not to offer help unless you're super duper free =.=

lesson learnt.

i'm not super duper free and they know i know how to design stuff using computer techno.
so my teacher call me to design a page layout for school magazine for music club. damn man. damn it...

oh well..

they're many shit as well.
but i think i'll let them to my diary.

oh yea. i started writing diaries now.
as there are stuff that i don't want to reveal in public but really hope to share it with someone quiet.

thanks lum for the idea ;]
Hah!

till now i suppose..

ps. Terence Tan must not fall again!!!

06 October 2010

你还好吗?

最近,
给我的感觉,
都很冷淡.

担心.
真的不明白..

ps. 超爱

04 October 2010

Woots!

I'm home early today. Ngek ngek ngek..

But too bad.
I have Physics presentation tomorrow. And teacher just told us today X.x

Got to prepare.
huhu..

Gonna cut hair later too. =X


Well, just a short update.
Heard this song and thinking of sharing it..


Kissin U
by Miranda Cosgrove



Sparks fly, it's like electricity
I might die when I forget how to breathe
You get closer and there is no where in this world I'd rather be
Time stops like everything around me is frozen
And nothing matters but these
Few moments when you open my mind to things I've never seen

'Cause when I'm kissin' u my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place, you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissin' u
When I'm kissin' u it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one, should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin' u

Past loves, they never got really far
Walls of picture I've got in my heart
And I promised I wouldn't do this
Till I knew it was right for me
But no one, no guy that I met before
Could make me feel so right and secure
And have you noticed I lose my focus
And the world around me disappears

'Cause when I'm kissin' u my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place, you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissin' u
When I'm kissin' u it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one, should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin' u

I've never felt nothing like this
You're making me open up
No point even trying to fight this
It kinda' feels like it's love

'Cause when I'm kissin' u my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place, you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissin' u
When I'm kissin' u it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one, should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin' u


ps. Life would be more cheerful if we were to take it from a different angle..

29 September 2010

I'm 18!
I'm legal.

Finally. lolx

Oiii!!! I'm legal people..!


no more teasing before entering a 18 and above movie. xD

ps. thanks. ily.

27 September 2010

Like I'd expected, September was a total shit.

One of my computer broke down.
My Printer broke down.
My watch cacated. (Timer pointer wont point to zero when it shud be zero)
Camera cacated. (there's a black spot in all my pictures, even though i'd clean the lens several times)
Spec cacated (Senget ady)
Phone Cacated (Up, back, left stick button not functioning)

see?
See that?!

Gosh..


Sometimes.
i'm really tired.

tired of everything.
sometimes even tired of actually living.
(don't get me wrong. i will never give up life)

I tried.

Tried to force myself to once again,
go back to my old thinking.

Where I once think and believes that.
and had even tried to spread my thoughts,
that everything have their own bright side.
for example you are facing exams..
stress.
well, they are indeed quite a burden to us students.

but in fact, they make us stronger in life, a better foundation, a better understanding.
with flying results, we get good jobs, we get good pay, we get a great life.

however,
Through those up and downs that I'd been through,
slowly, I forgot about this.

that is because i learned something.
I learnt that no matter how bright and how good that thing is, if it hurts you no matter how,
it is not at all a bright side.

well, it does gives you the bright side..
but maybe, you just have to put 1000000X more effort in it.

If that was the case,
then my dear friends,

it's time to let go.

letting go was never an easy decision.

but sometimes, one may have to take that route.
in order to prevent further harm to self and others.


Life is tough.

Some says that it is tough because God trains you.
I think that it is tough because we make it to be tough.

everything starts with our brain.
When we think life is tough, it will be tougher.

when we think life is superb, it will be far more superb than superb.

My weird mood started since long time ago..
specially on Friday night.

Have no ideas what happened.
but it was just like. Everything is wrong. Everything is the end and nothing is right.

That smile that i put on when I'm with friends.
Sorry to tell you.
that's a fake smile that i put up.

When i'm left alone.
I think shit.

shits that i don't want to think but my brain just non stop thinking.


So i don't want to be left alone.

anyone wana yam cha session, do call me.
I need to relax.


those negatives things.
those bad stuffs.
Everything that will do me no good.
Pop up in my mind,
causing me to be extremely moody.

Even though i tried my very best to smile from the very deep of my heart,
i just couldn't make it =(

Heart bleeding, no tears in my eyes.
I rather have tears.
This made me suffer.

I wish..
................


Ignore this post.
just another post of bull where i have no ideas what i'm typing.




p/s i need you, hell lot.

24 September 2010

Two days ago..

Happy Moon Cake Festival! =)

I kinda enjoyed it.

That night,
My family and I, one lantern each,
we walked around the neighborhood.
Well,
at first it feels kinda weird and embarrassed.
as people might say..

yii, so old still play lantern.

but had they every thought that,
playing lantern during moon cake fest is a chinese tradition,
if We chinese are not to maintain our own culture, then who will?

To those who think playing lantern are just for kids,
you have no brains, or well, mayb you're not Chinese.

So we walked around the neighbor hood. Saw other ppl playing,
and they join us too =)
so the gang grew..

btw,
electronic lanterns are so !@#$%%@#$@#$%!@$# noisy!

wth.
i prefer the old one.

where's the fun of playing with fire and candles if you use the electric one?



heh.
nothing much to say.
going for kkhs moon cake concert later.

hope it'll be still ok..
first time to sit as audience but not on stage as performers.

and after the concert,
we will play lantern in school =D

looking forward to it hell much..
Hope shits wont flying at my face again.

will definitely piss me off.

ps. 我只想要你陪

16 September 2010

Don't read this post of shit.






Today, in short..

Piece of shit.



Shits flying everywhere,
and most of them hit me.


16th of September..
A public holiday.

I was seriously looking forward to this day since Monday.


was gonna go movie with friends


Well..
Shit came one by one.

When i was about to leave my house at 11.30am.

I look at the drawer where we keep all of our keys and my car key was no where to be found.

I quickly ran for the door.

!@#$%^

my car was not there.

Now how am i going to go out without a car?

Called my parents.
And knew that they drove it out to service the car.

Well..
I somehow kinda raised my voice a bit because i was erm.. shocked and sad at the same time
as i have to break my promise =(

after that was disaster.

I sit in my living room. every car sound i heard, i stand up and glance through the window.

Nop. not my car.

that goes on for one hour.

That one hour was torturous.

Had my heart bleeding but no tears came out.

Promised to pick you up but i ended up sitting there. Useless.

My plan was to leave the house at 11.15.
So that i can grab your mentos along the way and reach you before 12.

but i thought of doing a small card.
that took me sometime.

mood was no where better than horrible once i noticed those shit that happened.

Waited until 12.15. my mum is back.

Jumped up the car and somehow raised my voice while talking to her.

Feeling pretty worried and condemned that time.
So basically i do not know what i was doing.

Mum tried to explain.
but i just left my house.

Drove 140km/h along the highway.

and when you told me not to come.
i just.....

so i fetched foo and we went for zhu mee fen in gaya street.

although i wasn't happy at all.
still forced a smile out to entertain my friends.

can see that he knew i wasn't in the mood as well.

meet kuit up at 1B cinema and watched Resident evil 3D.

Things ain't good when i reached home..

had a few lectures and argument with my parents.

Apologies though.
It was my bad at the first place.

It was all just some misunderstanding.

plus, that workers in the shop had some problems doing the car.
ended up late.

my parents are good enough to give me a car.
pay for my petrol.
Drove my car for service.
and what had i returned them?

I somehow scolded at them, voice raised actually.
some how think that they ruined everything.
thought they find excuse to prevent me from going out.
and also,
they did everything for me so that i can accompany my friends.
at the same time, lesser time with them.
and i only have a few months left in kk =(

Thanks also for mum, rush back home to pass the car to me.
and i still blame her for driving slow.
and the actual thing was that workshop did faulty job to my car and make things got shitty.


I'm sorry mum and dad.
Horribly sorry.


I still love you all.
It was just misunderstanding.
A childish kid with a childish mind.


If you were to make me choose between family and friends,
i will have to say.

sorry my friend.


for me, i can't live without friends.
i need them.
i need you all.
i need support.

or else i'll be boneless.
like a pile of shit.


don't misunderstand. i still appreciate everyone of you.


today's program,
i really did spent sometime thinking about it.
like how i wished it will turn out like that.
how sweet will it be if like this.

but seems like non of it came true.

well.
maybe sometimes we just can't think too much
thinking give you hope.
hope makes you dream
dream leads you to be obsessed.
and when you're overly obsessed with something.
shit happened.

later that.

my printer broke down.
my computer broke down.

everything.
on the same day.
=(

I think today should be the worst day for september 2010.
and could even be nominated as the worst for year 2010.
=(

A public holiday. =(

That's it i suppose.
the rest, i leave it for my diary. =(


答应了但没做到.
我真的非常抱歉.
只想告诉你,
我尽力了.
对不起.

错过了,
我非常后悔.
或许是命运吧. =(

真希望,
能紧紧地抱着你,
不放开.

带你,
到海边,
看着夕阳,
变成星星.

带你,
到永远,
到天堂.

还能容忍多久,
我不知道.
知道的是,
火山终有一天会爆发.

有人说我傻.
有人说我蠢.
为什么就不接受事实,
放弃一切?

都回了一致的答案.
因为我爱她.


ps. ...

11 September 2010

陈文豪,
再次的,
跌进大海.

幸好,
我学会了,
把自己带出世界,
忘记一切,
再次回到人群中.

ps. ily.

29 August 2010



翻著我們的照片 想念若隱若現 
去年的冬天 我們笑得很甜 
看著妳哭泣的臉 對著我說再見 
來不及聽見 妳已走得很遠  


也許妳已經放棄我 也許已經很難回頭 
我知道是自己錯過 請再給我一個理由說妳不愛我  


就算是我不懂 能不能原諒我 
請不要把分手當作妳的請求 
我知道堅持要走 是妳受傷的藉口 
請妳回頭 我會陪妳 一直走到最後  


就算沒有結果 我也能夠承受 
我知道妳的痛 是我給的承諾 
妳說給過我縱容 沉默是因為包容 
如果要走 請妳記得我


如果難過 請妳忘了我


Another beautifully written and composed song by Jay Chou. Love it.


Well.


HOW'S Life Terence Tan?


Ohh?


It Rock and Suck at the same time.


My two weeks holiday is coming to an end soon. X.x


Gonna go back to school next Wednesday.
and guess what?
Exams. for three days.


One word.


Die.




Well. I'd been given two weeks. What the hell was I doing?




First day of holiday.


I told myself. "Oii! Give yourself a break laa" GREAT! GAME!!


Few days later on.


Ai ya. First week only. 2nd week 2nd week.
Must OHHHMM!


So first week, on Thursday,
Daren came my house for sleep over to rush chemistry project.
and guess what?
We did not sleep for whole night. Hahaha.


And we actually manage to go for a movie on Friday.
Watched The Expendables. not Bad. not bad =D


I went flat when i reached home though ><
But still manage to pull myself up to send Daren home and go for piano 
lesson after the short nap.


Btw, I planned to take Masterclass for piano from Mr David in Kl.
So yeap. 
That earn me a trip to KL from 24-27.


but then that means need more effort to practice piano.


So there goes the rest of my first week.
Hugging my piano and dating her.


Yeap. KL.
HOLIDAY!!


what? Study? No WAY!
Go home then think about it bah. ;]


And hey! I'm home on Friday night.




Ai ya. So tired ady. Nvm lah. No need study one night.


Yay!
Saturday morning.


today must study whole day ady.
Woke up at 11am =.=


Only evening study for awhile.


and go practice violin.
as night got concert.


So. Yeap. There goes another day .__.


Sunday!!
Celebrate Bro's Birthday!
Yipee.
Real one is 30th Aug though.


So yeap. another day gone.


With orchestra practice from 3-5pm.


And then here i am =D


Omg!
I haven bath yet.
and wasted 30 min on these craps.


Chao`


ps. I treasure you <3